so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
