You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize