HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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