Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
