I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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