ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
