Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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