just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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