is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I love you. Go after that dick