$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
