I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize