The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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