Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
