how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
