You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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