tonight lets celebrate not being married
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
