Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
