what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
