i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
