I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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