Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
