coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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