You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
