lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
