Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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