I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
