people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize