Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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