when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
