Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
