He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
