go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
