Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
