Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
