He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
