can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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