I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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