Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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