i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
