Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
