That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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