I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
