eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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