are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
