Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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