I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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