I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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