i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
