he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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