direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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