Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
