just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Boobs are out for the taking
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
