I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
