i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i think my mom watched the whole time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
