You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My life is pants optional.
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