you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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