Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
