How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
