Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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