Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
