Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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